No More Blood, PLEASE

Today has been very productive.  I was out of bed before 9:00.  I showered.  I washed my hair.  I took Milo to the dog park, despite the nasty air and frigid temperatures as of late.  Then I came home and promptly fell asleep.  Still, this is an incredible amount of activity compared to what I've done the past week.

I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Riddle, on Monday.  He looked concerned as he told me what had happened during my surgery, and what to expect in the near future.  Dr. Riddle told me he removed 16 lymph nodes from my central neck, 11 of which were malignant.  He then removed 10 lymph nodes from the right side of my neck, only 2 of which turned out to be malignant.  This was surprising to everyone, as we had thought I only had perhaps 3 or 4 in all.  The ultrasound had shown the ones of the right side, but the CT scan only lit up with something in my central neck, not a distinct number of tumors. 

No one knows why I still had so much disease in my neck, but it could be that during my first surgery Dr. Kim did not venture as far down as the cancer had spread.  In any event, Dr. Riddle felt that he had gotten the remaining tumors out, but felt badly that he hadn't had time to revise my scar like he had hoped.  I tried to assure him that I did not care at all, that making my scar look pretty was the absolute last thing on my mind, but I think he still worried a bit.

There is about a 99.9% chance that I'll have to do the radiation again this summer.  I'm not excited, as you can imagine, but at least I have a few months to recover from getting cut up!   For now, I'm still fairly tired and my incision is sore and itchy, but I feel infinitely better.  I'm off the Loratab, the drain is out (thanks again Sharla!!), and I can stay awake for more than a few hours at a time.

I will say, if I have to see my own blood again in the next couple of weeks, I'm going to lose my mind.  While checking in with Dr. Riddle, he asked that I get some blood drawn to check my calcium levels, etc.  The nurse walked in with a couple of vials and a needle, and I felt like I was going to scream.  My inner arms are still covered with bruises from getting shots and blood taken in the hospital, and my left hand has a tender lump from the IV.  I've never been good with blood and guts, and after carrying around a drain with my own blood in it for several days, I never care to see it again.

As far as the future, I plan on recovering for the rest of the week, then I hope to begin my job search.  Here's the problem: most schools will begin interviewing for the 2013-2014 school year at the end of February, beginning of March.  I feel confident that I will be able to find something for the fall, but what should I do until then?  I have February though August to worry about, and what kind of job can I get for six or seven months?  I can't even begin to express how tired I am of job-searching.  I've had no less than EIGHT jobs since I graduated from college, and would love to find something that I can stay with for the next 5 - 10 years at least.  Whah whah whah.  I'm sure everything will turn out.  So for now I am content to watch Gilmore Girls reruns and eat more Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.

Thanks again to everyone for your prayers and well-wishes, your thoughts and texts.  I really appreciate all the love I've received, and feel much better for it.

P.S. Next post I'm going to add some photos - get ready for carnage! :)